Long time readers will probably be surprised to learn that I am in fact a very shy man. I work in schools performing in front of sixty to ninety children at a time, I recite poetry to audiences and regularly (whenever I am allowed too) do Pecha Kucha talks but despite my performing personality I am going to pieces inside.
People say to me ‘how do you do it?’ or ‘I couldn’t do what you do’ but neither could I without setting myself the goal everyday of getting up there and just doing it. It is a challenge every day and every time. Yes there are little rituals I do and I metaphorical mask that I wear but the truth of the matter is that if I don’t just do it I never will.
I have always felt crunch moment when either I perform or walk off stage. A moment of expectation of the audience and potential for myself for two options only either to bottle it or do it. The hardest goal that I set myself every day is to stand up and perform. The alternative is too awful to contemplate.